Expectations, Attachment, and Surrender: By Caitlin Lassy
I recently wrote this poem about the process of manifesting, and letting go of our attachments and expectations to what that process will look like, and, what the final product of our hard work and intention looks like:
Something that I am learning
about the path to manifesting is this -
Not only do often unexpected
incidences arise, but,
more than likely
the path will be rocky.
This is because,
before our desires can come
we must learn,
into a new level of being,
in order to properly use,
or give service to,
or be grateful for,
the product of our hard work.
the product doesn’t always look
exactly as we had expected it to.
there’s always that sneaky ego.
We must also go through
the trials and road bumps
to be certain
that we are not working for our ego.
The first section of the poem, “Not only do often unexpected incidences arise, but, more than likely the path will be rocky. This is because, before our desires can come to fruition, we must learn, and discover, and process, and digest, into a new level of being, in order to properly use, or give service to, or be grateful for, the product of our hard work.” speaks to the fact that often times, we are actually not quite fully ready for our dreams to physically manifest before our eyes. We think that we’re ready, we even deeply FEEL that we are ready, because, well of course, we WANT what we’re focusing on to manifest. The truth is, though, that great wanting and longing for our work to come to fruition, does not necessarily mean that we are ready to receive our desires. This is because that intense emotion of wanting, secretly has its roots in attachment. Having an attachment to what the journey will look like and any one particular outcome is not usually the best idea. This is because, we may actually not truly be aware of what’s best for us, because the ego may be misleading us (more on that in a bit). This is also because, we can’t possibly know every little thing that life has in store for us in the future. If we spent all of our time trying to figure out and control the future, we would completely miss out on the opportunities of the present moment.
So, we must dive deeply into a (sometimes messy and unpredictable) transformative process, in order to release our attachment to the outcome of our work, learn more about ourselves, grow mentally and spiritually, remain present, and truly be ready for our dreams to come to fruition. When we surrender, and ride the waves of this process, not only does it ensure that we can be more fully prepared to see our dreams become reality, but, it also instills a much greater emotion of gratitude for the fruits of all of our labor. It also instills a much greater understanding of how to more positively put the outcome of our work to use for ourselves, or maybe even, for our world.
The next section of the poem, “And, the product doesn’t always look exactly as we had expected it to.” expands upon the dire need to let go of any attachments we may have to the outcome of our work. I mentioned how having attachments can lead to pain or unease because we don’t always know what’s best for us, and, because we can’t predict the future. Regardless of these facts, why would you want to be attached to one particular outcome, when, “putting all of your eggs in one basket”, closes you off from maybe a much more magical, inspiring outcome, an outcome, that you could never have imagined before?
Don’t limit yourself or your life with your attachments. You literally never can know what possibilities or opportunities may arise.
Finally, the the final section of the poem, “Then, there’s always that sneaky ego. We must also go through the trials and road bumps to be certain that we are not working for our ego.” skims the surface on acknowledging our ego. I love using the term “sneaky ego” for that very human part of us, because the ego is SO. SNEAKY. I can speak personally from experience, that there have been many times I thought, at first, that my hopes were pure and true, but then, some “road bumps” occurred that caused me to realize, the energy behind my hopes, was energy driven by the ego.
Just as all life does, over the course of time, and over the course of our lives, the ego has and continues to evolve. The ego is constantly learning new avenues of showing up, without our realizing, in our behavior. This is something that we must learn to accept. The ego is human, and we are human, so therefore, it is unrealistic to think that we can ever fully be without the ego. The trick is, to become self aware enough to recognize the evolution of the ego in ourselves, so that we may see it, and all the sneaky games it tries to play, and learn how to work with it.
Practicing awareness and mindfulness meditations are HUGELY helpful for this process.
I’m curious, what has your personal experience with having expectations and attachments been like? How have you let them go? How have you learned to work with your ego, and not allow your ego to work you?